S2 - Episode 021: Anxiety Anger and What to Do About It

Episode Description

How do you deal with your anxiety? Some of us become passive aggressive, some of us isolate ourselves, but a lot of us lash out in anger causing destruction all around. In episode 021 of the podcast, we talk about the importance of identifying how we respond to our anxiety. We also talk about the specific topic of anger and a few practical tips on what to do in our moments of anger.

Episode Insights

Realistic Expectations

When we expect something to happen, like having an expectation of someone to do something or something to happen, we are going to be let down but the problem is when we are let down, it causes our anxiety dwell up and start coming to the surface.

How Our Anger Affects Others

We have to be very careful how our anger can make our family and friends feel like they're not loved, or that they're not valued, or that they're not important.

Control Plays a Big Factor

Where is this anger coming from? Lack of control can make us feel anxious and anxiousness makes us feel like we have lack of control.

We have to be able to take that assessment and ask ourselves the question, how am I responding to my anxiety? The control side of it is so important because a lot of our anger is rooted in that.

"You have to be able to draw a map to where this is coming from. Where did you come from that's led you to this moment? If you're at point B, how did you get there? And what was point A? I don't know if we do that enough, we just ride our emotions and never really looked back in the rear view mirror to see what caused us to get there." - Aaron Lee

The Application

1. Put on Some Headphones or Step Away

If you struggle with anger, sometimes the best thing you can do is get your mind off of it. To pull yourself out of the situation. Purposeful isolation can help. Stepping away gives us the opportunity to hit the reset button.

2. Count and Take a Deep Breath

It's as simple as just taking four or five deep breaths, breathing in for four seconds, holding for one or two and then breathing out for five or six seconds. You don't realize what you're doing, you're sending oxygen to your brain, it's helping helping you calm what you maybe feeling in that moment.

3. Ask for Forgiveness

When we handle our emotions wrong, take responsibility and apologize whether to your spouse, kids, or a stranger. This becomes a building block for the next time we find ourselves in a moment of wanting to lash out and it might help hold us accountable.

BONUS - Be Angry

Sometimes it's okay to be angry. Sometimes it's a reminder of the injustice that we feel. And sometimes we need to speak up, and we need to be bold and remind people that they can't push other people around.

BUT...

you have to do it in a way that isn't tearing down the world. And that's where we get in trouble is there's a fine line of being angry and being destructive. And we have to let our anger be something that is productive, not something that's destructive.